Recreating My Vision (2023)

If you ask me about what I want to draw, I would say a picture. It is a picture of what I see, and I want you to see it with me. If you are unable to see it, then let me turn it into reality, so you can see it too. This painting is simply a record of what was going on in my head at a certain moment. Once I held fantasies about many things: a person, a piece of paper or even an academic field. Later, these expectations and fantasies collapsed one by one. It is difficult to accept that the things valued the most are fading, the goals aspired to the most are no longer challenging, and once-perfect creations are turning into unfixable flaws.

Now I compare my visions with reality. I began to re-examine these issues. My disappointment about immortality seems to show that I have never done anything blindly. I grow up and started to see more of the reality of things, see the plurality of facades. Now I live within the “fantasy” rather than standing below it. I used to feel envy towards a lot of people; those people who live in their perpetual “visions,” and therefore gain a lot of expectations and energy. I still do now, but it does not matter. When the fantasy fades, it is the moment for me to review it, interpret it and discern my distance from it?
Kelsi Zhao
赵鹤晴